This fascination I have with seeing myself in a mirror started when I was 3 yrs old. I climbed up on our piano, saw my reflection and said to my mom, "Yep! That's me!"
She (my mother) wrote this down in my book of Sharon-isms.
Often I have found myself admiring women from a distance, wishing they were my mother. They appear to nurture well. They are attractive and well kept. They are confident and just all around attractive to me.
When I saw myself in the mirror last night and saw all these qualities, I smiled to myself, took a deep breath and felt complete.
I dreamed all through the night of my biological mother, my Godmother and all those who have been surrogates. In my dream I was nurturing them, holding them and hugging them the way I wish I could feel hugs. When I woke up, I had dreamed I felt "grown" inside my own skin.
When I climbed out of bed, I found that I was carrying myself differently.
I felt attractive, filled up, and ready to be the mother I always wished I had.
This feels interesting to come out of my mouth, yet it is how it feels. "This is beautiful! This is what is attractive to me. I feel attractive, beautiful. I love myself."
No comments:
Post a Comment